I am ooooofficially 31 y’all! We made it to November 2020 y’all. Haha. 2020 has been a year full of ups and downs. Trials after trials after trials. Even with all the craziness, looking back, I have managed to have an above average year. The pandemic has brought me closer to a lot of my friends and family. I have been able to reflect so much more on my life and what I want from it. Aaaaand I have had the opportunity to drink ALL THE WINE. Haha.
My whole life I have struggled with my identity. I have always been all over the place. I have so many different interests on all sides of the spectrum. In middle school I explored my “emo/rock” phase. In 8th grade I started embracing my country/Mexican side and did a complete wardrobe overhaul complete with boots, hats, and belt buckle. In high school, I discovered high end fashion and became obsessed with finding discounted designer threads anywhere my mom would take us shopping. In college, I wanted to “reinvent” myself and I wore HIGH HEELS every single day for all of my freshman year. Y’all. Hahahaha. WHY?!?!? And walking around the UT Austin campus in HEELS.
My senior senior years in college (because I took 5 whole awesome years to graduate lol), I fell in love with the gym so I started my sporty/street style. When I graduated I felt like I didn’t know who I was. I was in love with all these styles and all these things…I felt like I didn’t fit into any world or any space. I fixated on one word…”weird”. I felt like it was bad. I have always been called “weird”. And I felt weird because I couldn’t figure out who I really was.
2020 was a year of true discovery for me. I finally started letting go of the world’s definitions and expectations. I can actually pinpoint the exact date. August 22, 2020 I found myself. That day/weekend, I finally let go of everything the world wanted me to be. I don’t know how it happened, but we were driving to Del Rio, TX (my hometown) and I just let go. Everything changed for me that day.
I am an Urban Cowgirl. I am Mexican. I am American. I can sing Frank Sinatra songs word for word and quote random hip hop lyrics throughout the day. I will sing Los Laureles at the top of my lungs the exact same way I will sing Blue by LeAnn Rimes. I love the city and I love the country. I am happy in the middle of a crowded club and happy during a sunset at the ranch. I can wear my boots on a Friday and have my Kate Space A-Line dress on that next Monday. I know how to hold an intellectual conversation, but my hood starts coming out after I get comfortable.
I am me and that is beautiful. 31 years later and I finally feel like MYSELF. I am Anali Martinez Gonzalez. Nice to meet y’all. =)
Stay in love,
