[Today’s post is about losing a job, but finding yourself in the process by Jessica Gutiérrez @Fresa_Feroz]
Sometimes, life catches up with you. Two weeks after my first post on The Nueva Latina, life decided to punch me in the face (and then kick me while I was down…just for funsies.) Here’s the story about how I was unceremoniously—fired.
Being a teacher is a very political job. Not only do you have to be good at what you do, you have to please everyone from coworkers and administrators to students, parents and the board. I’m far from a perfect teacher…but I love what I do and I make sure I always do what’s best for my students. And that’s where my problem lies…I didn’t play into all the “games” that those around me were asking.
Sitting in a meeting where HR and administration is telling you you’re not up to par is vicious. The feeling of being inadequate is VERY real. And so my broken spirit and I signed some papers and were at an absolute loss. What do I do now? What will happen once my contract expires?
I cried. I cried more than I am willing to admit. I hid. I cut many people off and shut down. Not only did I feel inadequate, I was ashamed. Esta pena no era ajena….era toda mía. So, I did what I thought best. I disappeared from social media and took time to sulk, regroup and think things through. I made time to work on myself away from distractions.
I applied to many jobs out of the education world. I applied to many teaching jobs. I applied for my Mexican Citizenship and thought about leaving the country and restarting somewhere new.
My contract ended on a Friday…but the uncertainty of the future had been lingering over me for months at this point. The following Monday, I was offered my new job. That Tuesday I bought flights and took my mom on her first actual vacation a few weeks later.
I’m incredibly lucky that this situation didn’t last longer. Likewise, now I see I’m lucky to have experienced it. It allowed me to feel a grief I had not felt before. It pushed me to do things I wouldn’t have done. It forced me to feel uncomfortable and troubleshoot. It allowed me to completely rework my priorities and enjoy time with my mom. It helped me realize that while I loved my students at my previous campus, some of the people that surrounded me were toxic. It has helped me appreciate that much more how amazing my current administration is. It wasn’t easy….and while for some this situation is nothing…this is a luchona badge I rightfully earned. Nuevas aventuras, buenas o malas….here I come, and more chingona than before ♀️.
Jessica is a proud first-generation Mexican-American and college grad. She grew up in Brownsville, Texas and moved to ATX to attend The University of Texas – where she obtained her bachelors in Curriculum and Instruction. Jessica loves to travel and visit her family. On weekends you can catch her at a local fun spot or having brunch. She enjoys live shows and various genres of música Latina. Her friends describe her as a dedicated teacher, a caring person, and a fresa. She hopes to share her stories (ósea, todos los osos que comete), bring the spotlight to issues affecting Latinos and gives her take on Latinos in Education.
